


¡Viva La Gloria!

by SpookyEcho



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Pre-Canon, Attempted Sexual Assault, Car Accidents, Character Death, Fist Fights, Gen, I wrote this pre-season 6 I think?, IRL AU, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Inspired by Music, Inspired by Roleplay/Roleplay Adaptation, Lance pre-transition at the beginning, Langst, Major Original Character(s), Original Character Death(s), Original Character(s), Original Character-centric, Original Female Character(s) - Freeform, RPS - Freeform, Roleplay Logs, Trans Lance (Voltron), Transphobia, Underage Drinking, real life AU, so it was kind of a lance origin story, this is also pre-rp, this is from a hipster roadtrip au rp that a friend and I did
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-30
Updated: 2019-08-30
Packaged: 2020-09-30 11:43:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20446607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpookyEcho/pseuds/SpookyEcho
Summary: Sooo this most definitely a piece I wrote like two years ago, and I wrote it long before we even learned of the names of Lance's siblings, or before we met "Adam" in Voltron and I had conveniently named a character in this Adam. I had a Roadtrip AU roleplay going with a friend of mine and I wrote this piece as sort of an origin story piece for Lance in that RP. I'm just uploading it now because I wanna upload a second piece I'm writing that's in that universe and to understand that one, you need to read this one.This one-shot fic is the origin story of my Trans Lance AU that originated from a RP and I'm currently working on writing out different stories with him. This one is the story of his older sister, Gloria, and how one night with her changed his whole life. Based loosely on the songs "¡Viva La Gloria!" and "¿Viva La Gloria?" by Green Day





	¡Viva La Gloria!

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there! Once again, in case you somehow missed it in the notes or in the tags on this fic, I wrote this particular piece about two years ago before season six??? I think??? Maybe even before season five?? Either way, it was before we ever learned the names of Lance's siblings in canon, and before the character "Adam" in Voltron was introduced. Therefore, in this story, Lance's siblings are for the most part original characters. There is a character named Adam in the story, but he is NOT to be confused with the Adam in VLD who dated Shiro. They're totally separate characters, and I wrote this Adam before that Adam ever even premiered, and just threw a name at him that stuck. Same with the McClain siblings; we had no names at the time and so these are just who I came up with!

“Gloria!” a familiar voice shouted through the door as the sound of a fist came pounding down repeatedly. It was loud enough that even the overwhelming blend of music from the kitchen and Gloria’s own bedroom couldn’t drown the sound out. “Gloria, let me in!” 

The doorknob rattled suddenly. They were coming in now, whether Gloria liked it or not. God, there was no damn privacy in this house. As the door started creaking open, Gloria was up like a shot, slamming it shut again with nearly her full weight. But the person on the other side was stronger. “Gloria!” the voice huffed. 

“What’s the password, dipshit?” she gritted through her teeth. The two of them were locked in a battle of wills now, the door hovering open just an inch or two away from the frame. 

“You don’t have a password!” 

Damn. This is why Gloria wasn’t the brains of the family. “Who enters?!” 

“Gloria,” the voice sounded exasperated, an inflection in their tone that clearly indicated there was a simultaneous rolling of the eyes to go along with it. 

“Nope,” she chided. “Sorry, I’m Gloria. So clearly you can’t be Gloria. Otherwise we would have some  _ very  _ uncreative parents.” 

“You know who it is, let me in!” 

A silent moment of expectation passed between the two as she considered her options. She really wasn’t in a “dealing-with-siblings” type of mood. Even if it was her favorite of her siblings on the other side of that door. But her parents would smack her if she slammed the door in any of her kid siblings’ faces. She sighed and pressed her forehead to the surface of the door. They weren’t really struggling back and forth anymore. More just… hovering... “State your business.” she finally requested. 

“I need your help with something!” 

“You can’t ask mom?”

“You know I can’t…” 

The pause that followed was poignant. The both of them knew what that meant. All of the apprehension melted away from where it had coiled itself inside of Gloria’s chest. “Fine. Let go so I can open the door.” When she felt the weight lift from the other side of the door, she shifted, letting the door swing open the rest of the way, letting her little sibling in. 

As soon as she could, Gloria slammed the door shut again behind the visitor. For being younger than Gloria by almost two years, Lucia was nearly taller than her now, and stronger too. Must have been all those stupid dance lessons. Who knew dance would get someone so ripped? Maybe Gloria should have stuck with it, after all. She took in the sight of Lucia, scanning her eyes up and down the teenager. “Well?” Lucia asked, nervously. 

“Where the hell did you get those clothes?!” Gloria had to keep herself from laughing. Lucia looked like a grunge kid from the nineties. Ripped, bleach-faded jeans and an oversized sports jersey, topped with a flannel that was two sizes too big. 

“I stole them from Christian,” Lucia admitted sheepishly, referring to the eldest of the McClain kids and fidgeting with the hem of the shirt. “Do they look that bad?” 

“They don’t fit you!” Gloria scoffed, pointing a dumbfounded hand to where the shoulder of the flannel was hanging off of one shoulder. 

“Nothing in this house fits me besides my own clothes! I’m too skinny for any of Christian’s clothes and yours are all really girly… And I am not trying to steal any of mama or papa’s clothes!” 

“Hey, I’ve got a lot of old shit that’s not that girly… Besides, you don’t have anything in your closet that you’re comfortable in?” Gloria pressed her eyebrows together in confusion, before a new question popped into her mind. “Wait, what is this for? Where are you going? I thought dad grounded you for the fight you two got into when you cut your hair!” 

Lucia’s freckled cheeks tinged slightly pink. “I-I… I’m going out!”

“Out?” Gloria repeated, dumbly. “Out where?!” 

“Just out,” Lucia mumbled, pulling at the bottom of the jersey again. “Some of the guys from school asked me to hang out with them, that’s all…” 

“Woah, what guys? Lu, you’re not hanging out with that boy from the college again, are you? You know that asshole’s only after one thing--” 

“I don’t need a lecture!” Lucia snapped, hands thrown up in the air defensively. “And he’s not gonna try anything funny if I show up dressed the way I wanna dress, so…” 

“Lucia…” Gloria’s voice held a tone of warning. She breathed a cautious sigh, pressing her hands together in front of her face. “Why are you doing this? Do you want to get back together with him? Are you hanging out with him as his ex?”

“Oh my god…” 

“Are you out to him, and gonna hang out as yourself?” 

“I just want to go hang out with him and his friends, is that okay?!” Lucia snapped, and then shifted uncomfortably. “Like… like one of the guys, I guess. I dunno…” 

Gloria’s heart broke as those words hit her ears. Okay. Fine. Maybe she was being a little paranoid or worrying too much. She had to trust the kid. “You sure you don’t wanna just go to the Garrett’s? You know mom and dad won’t get mad at you if you ask to go over there. They’re family. Grounded doesn’t count when it’s them.” 

“No, no,” Lucia replied. “That’s not the same… I just… Hunk already knows who I am. He accepts me. I just… I need to go hang out with guys, okay?” 

That was like saying Hunk wasn't a guy, which was frustrating. But Gloria supposed that boys were different when you've grown up with someone since you were a baby, which Lucia and Hunk definitely had. There was a long pause as Lucia’s eyes pleaded with Gloria’s to understand. To try and comprehend how Lucia was feeling. After a while, she finally gave in with a sigh. “Fine. But you’re not going in those clothes. You look like an idiot.” 

“What’s wrong with these clothes?!” 

Gloria shot Lucia a side-eye as she turned to her own closet. There had to be something lying around here that would fit. She flicked the light on and began rummaging. “Besides them being too big? They don’t look like you.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“Dude, have you ever watched a single sports game in your life? Do you even know what sport that team plays?” Gloria rolled her eyes and turned back to Lucia, pointing at the jersey. When all she received back was a blank stare, she shook her head with a small laugh. “It’s a baseball team. And Christian doesn’t even watch baseball. Dad gave that to him two years ago and he’s never worn it.” 

“I didn’t…” 

“Here,” Gloria shot an old t-shirt over her shoulder. It was a shirt from one of their dance recitals years ago that Gloria still had. Lucia’s had been cut for a child, but Gloria had been going through a phase where she’d ordered all of her shirts three sizes too big. Hopefully with Lucia’s thin frame, it’d fit perfectly. “Take this. It at least looks like something you’d own. And where’s that binder Hunk’s parents helped you buy? Why aren’t you wearing it?” 

Lucia stuttered, fumbling to catch the balled up shirt as it was chucked across the room. “U-under my mattress…” 

“Well go get it! If you want to hang with The Guys, then let’s do this. I’m gonna make sure you’re the best damn looking boy there.” 

Lucia nodded with wide, blue eyes like saucers. “Y-yeah, okay! Thanks!”

As he turned towards the door another idea came to Gloria and she grabbed at his elbow. “Wait! Did you give any thought to what you and I talked about? The day Hunk and I brought you to cut your hair? About your name? I’m not gonna keep calling you ‘Lu’ forever, you know.” 

“Yeah,” he breathed with a nod. “I think I liked the one you said. The one from your book? ‘Cause it’s… it’s kind of like my birth name. Starts with ‘L,’ five lett--”

“Yeah, I know,” Gloria cut him off before he started with the word vomit. “I was there, Lance.” 

At the sound of his new name being used, a wide grin broke out across his face. “Lance,” he repeated back to her with a small nod and smile. “Yeah… Lance.” 

Gloria smiled back at him, raising her eyebrows. God, her little brother was stupidly cute about this whole thing. “Well, go hurry up and get dressed, Lance. I’m gonna keep looking for more shit for you to wear.” 

He nodded and quickly bounded from his sister’s room towards his own, leaving Gloria to dig through her closet for anything that she thought might fit Lance and make him feel more comfortable in his own skin. It was only a few minutes before she heard her door creek open again, followed by the soft padding of feet. She looked up to double-check it was Lance before pushing herself up off the floor of the closet. 

Lance had the recital shirt on, and while it was a little snug on him (if not for the binder, it might not have fit him at all), it was definitely an improvement from the stupid baseball jersey no one in the house apparently wanted. “Are you sure this looks okay?” he mumbled, tugging at the hem of the t-shirt. 

“Are you kidding me?” Gloria said with a smile. She moved towards him, setting the clothes she’d found down on her bed as she went and reaching out to pull his hands away. “Oh my god,  _ hermanito _ , it looks sooo much better! You actually look like yourself!”

“Myself usually looks like a girl…” He muttered back. 

“Hey, hey, hey! Stop that!” she slid a hand onto his cheek and gently tugged his face back up to meet her eyes. “You don’t look like a girl, okay? Lance needs to look like Lance, whether he’s presenting as a boy… girl… whatever! If you can’t be yourself as a boy, then what the hell is the point of going through all this?” 

Lance’s only response was to give a rather sheepish shrug and try to divert his eyes from his sister’s. 

“Hey, are you ashamed of doing dance?” 

“No, I love it…” 

“Then that doesn’t change all of the sudden because you’ve realized you’re a guy!” she smiled at him as he finally met her gaze. “Don’t you go feeding into that toxic masculinity bullshit on me now,  _ hermanito. _ ”

A small smile spread across his lips and he nodded. “Yeah,” he agreed. “Okay.” 

She gave his cheek an annoying little pinch, and then topped it off with a rather inglorious smack where she’d pinched. “Good! Now, these are all the clothes I’ve stolen from my guy friends over the years. There’s gotta be something in here that fits you better than anything Christian has. If it can fit me, I’m sure it’ll probably fit you. And there’s a couple hoodies there, too. So you can hide the binder from mom and dad.” 

Lance nodded, picking the clothes up off of the bed. “Thanks, Gloria,” he smiled at his big sister. He was looking much more at ease now than he had when she’d first let him in the room, which was good. She wasn’t about to let her little brother throw himself to the hounds without at least a little bit of confidence in himself. 

“Anything for you, kid,” she gently punched at his shoulder. Then, suddenly, an idea struck her. She remembered one more thing she owned that might fit him, amongst the forgotten piles of clothes that either didn’t fit her anymore or she just didn’t wear. “Oo! Wait!” she leapt over to a pile of dirty clothes by her stereo and started tossing them around in search of the piece she had in mind. “One more thing…” She tossed a pair of old sneakers towards him as she found them. Thank god for her awkward tomboy phase. That had been before she learned what eyeliner was and decided she could be a rockstar without being frumpy. “I have this old jacket around here somewhere…” 

Having reached the bottom of that pile (which was really just the floor), she moved on to a similar looking pile spilling out from underneath her bed. “Aha!” she emerged victorious, the worn out green piece in-hand. Standing and brushing herself off, she shook the old jacket out vigorously. “Remember this old thing?” 

Lance’s eyes went wide with surprise and embarrassment. “Wait, Gloria, no, that was your favorite…” he shook his head vigorously. “I couldn’t!” 

“Stoooop,” Gloria grinned, draping the jacket over the stack already in his arms. “It’s yours now. I don’t wear it anymore, anyways.” 

“I can’t…” Lance shook his head. “Please, Gloria. This is yours.” 

“So what? All the clothes you’re holding are mine! I’m giving them to you!” She crossed her arms. “What, are you embarrassed to wear clothes from my grunge phase?” 

“You’re still in your grunge phase, Gloria,” Lance replied, rolling his eyes. 

“Just shut up and take the stupid jacket.” 

He looked down at it, words failing him. He opened his mouth a couple of times to protest, but all that came out was squeaks. “But this is your favorite jacket. This is  _ Gloria’s  _ jacket.” 

“And now it’ll be  _ Lance’s  _ jacket,” she answered smoothly. “I told you, I never wear it anymore, anyways. At least this way it’ll get some love. Now get out of here! It’s easier to sneak out before mama settles in to watch her stupid  _ novelas. _ ” 

“Oooo, know that from experience, do ya?” Lance replied with a sidelong smile at her. Ah, there’s the jokes. That was more like the Lance that Gloria knew. 

“Shut up,” she said, although she couldn’t hide the grin that spread across her face at her brothers stupid antics. “Go on!” She gave him a shove towards the door and he went, willingly. He was almost out the door before she called after him one last time. “Oh, and Lance? Please call me, okay? I know you really wanna do this, but I worry. Just please… If you’re uncomfortable in anyway, or if you smoke, or just anything… just call me for a ride, okay?” 

Lance nodded at her from the doorway. “Sure thing,” he said. She could tell from the tone of his voice that he was just kind of brushing her off, but it made her feel better. Gloria hadn’t trusted Liam back when he and Lance had been dating, before Lance had come to terms with who he was, himself. So she certainly didn’t trust him now. But what good would it be trying to stop Lance? She'd never been able to stop him before, and he needed to figure out where he fit in life. Hopefully the sinking feeling in her stomach was just nerves. 

Gloria covered for Lance later that night when their mom came around to check on all of them before her shows started. “Lu said she wasn’t feeling very well,” she shrugged from over her book. “She’s probably just asleep with her headphones in. You know how she does that.” Their mom had bought it and went back downstairs shortly after checking in with Christian. And with that she let herself get absorbed in her book, noise cancelling headphones slid into place over her ears. 

* * *

She woke up hours later, the back of her throat burning with a need for water. Oh crap, had she fallen asleep while reading? Guess so. And in her headphones, too. Ouch, how did Lance stand sleeping in headphones? It left Gloria’s ears feeling all kinds of sore. Oh well. 

The rest of the house seemed to mostly be asleep now. The near-constant yelling of their youngest siblings had ceased and their doors were pulled shut, indicating they were all tucked away in their beds. Her mom was asleep in the chair by the television and her dad was nowhere in sight. It must have been pretty late. Probably time enough for bed, anyways. 

She grabbed her glass of water from down in the kitchen and made her way back up towards her own room. Down the hall from hers, she could see the glow of light peeking out from underneath Christian’s door and hear the thrum of music turned down low enough not to disturb anyone in the house. If Christian was up, it couldn’t be  _ too _ late. That was a relief. She turned from where she stood to look at Lance’s door. There was no light on inside. Either he still wasn’t home yet, or he’d snuck back in and gone to bed already. She guessed he simply wasn’t home yet. 

Curiosity got the better of her and she tried turning the handle of his door. Locked. So, yeah, still not home yet. Her stomach twisted a little as that realization hit her. She hoped that meant everything was going okay, instead of the exact opposite, which is exactly what she was scared might happen. 

God, Gloria, when did you let yourself get so soft? 

She turned and headed into her room, setting the glass of water down on her bedside table. Like there was any chance she was gonna get back to sleep now. She was too worried. 

That’s when she saw it. On the floor next to her bed lay her phone; fallen and forgotten. But the way it lay facing upwards she could see the screen all lit up with text messages and call alerts. “Ssssshit!!” Gloria dove for the device, opening it as quickly as she could. 

4 missed calls - “Hermanito~~”

8 text messages - “Hermanito~~”

“Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuckity fuck!!” she scrambled as she tried to unlock her phone, but it started glitching out as it tried to function while a new call was suddenly incoming. It took her several tries to get the damn call answered. Finally she did and pressed the phone to her ear. “Lance??” 

“Where the hell have you been?!” Lance’s voice demanded from the other end of the call. There was the thumping of loud music from somewhere in the background and what sounded like an echo to his voice. Despite his accusatory question, Gloria knew him well enough to hear the distress that was apparent in his voice. It sounded like tears.

“Fuck!!” Gloria ran a hand through her hair. She could explain herself to him and give him every excuse in the world, but she had other things she was worried about. Like making sure he was safe. “Shit, I’m so sorry! Lance, where the hell are you?!” 

This time, she heard a full-on sob answer her back. “Locked in the bathroom…” he managed to choke out, his accusation from earlier already forgotten. 

“Locked in a bathroom?” she repeated, incredulously. “What bathroom!?” 

“The one here… at Liam’s…” Lance sniffed back. His voice cracked as he said it. 

Gloria cursed again, doing her best to try and keep her voice down, lest she wake even her little siblings up. If they woke up, they’d scream and then mom would wake up. “Where the fuck is Liam’s house, Lance? I’m coming to get you.” As her little brother gave directions as best as he could, Gloria was scooping the black denim jacket off of the back of her desk chair. Liam, apparently, lived in a frat house up by the university now. That was enough to give Gloria pause. “Please don’t fucking tell me you’re at a frat party, Lance! Did they hurt you?! What happened?!” 

“It’s not a frat party!” Lance snapped, but his voice was still shaking with tears. “It’s just Liam and a couple of his brothers, and-- and--” 

“Okay, I need you to take a deep breath,  _ hermanito, _ ” she forced her voice to sound as soothing as she could. Meanwhile, she had managed to slip the jacket over her shoulders and was trying to shove Christian’s door open, despite the mess of junk that lay everywhere on her older brother’s floor. “Tell me what happened.” 

Christian was sitting up at his desk, staring Gloria down with bewildered eyes, fumbling to try and shut his laptop. “W-what the hell do you think you’re doing?!” he snapped. Oh. Yep. That was definitely porn she saw on her brother’s screen. Gross. 

She was too busy trying to listen to what Lance was saying in her ear as she snapped her fingers at Christian. “I need the fucking car keys!” When he stared at her with more confusion, she turned the speaker upwards away from her mouth so she could speak without interrupting the phone call. She snapped her fingers again. “ _ Ahora! R _ _ á _ _ pidamente!”  _

“What the hell’s going on?” Christian asked, grabbing the keys off of his desk and tossing them to her, anyways. 

“Lance went to that fucking guy, Liam’s, house,” Gloria snatched the keys out of the air effortlessly. “And I’m gonna fucking kill some bitches.” 

“‘Lance?’” Christian repeated.

She rolled her eyes. “Yeah, our little brother? He decided on a name! Not fucking important right now!” 

“Do you need me to go with you?” 

“No, I got it!” she turned, shutting Christian’s door quickly before he could say anything more. Her attention was back to her phone now, where Lance was still trying to explain what happened as best he could, in broken, tearful sentences. “Lance, slow down. I can’t understand what you’re saying!” 

A sniff replied to her as she made her way down the stairs again, trying her best to stay quiet while moving quickly, at the same time. “Liam and a couple of his stupid frat brothers are still in town,” okay, so now Lance was starting over from the beginning again. Fine, Gloria could work with this. Easier to be quiet if she was just listening. “And I thought that was it! I thought I’d come over, just play video games or something, and hang out!” His voice broke as the tears started again. “But you were right, Gloria, he just wanted one thing…” 

“Lance, stay put where you are,” Gloria said in a quiet voice. She was at the front door now, slipping out before she could wake her mom. One advantage to having three young siblings all under the age of ten; it was easy to get out after her parents went to sleep. “Don’t leave that bathroom, I’m coming to get you.” 

“I’m so sorry, Gloria, you were right…” 

“Shut up! I don’t care that I’m right! I wish I weren’t.”

“I just wanted to hang out… be like one of the guys…” 

Gloria was fumbling with the keys in the old beat up tin can she shared with her older brother. “I know,  _ hermanito, _ ” Got it! The door gave the thumping sound of an old lock flipping open and she slid into the car. The real hope now was that the rumbling of its engine wouldn’t wake her dad up. The line was silent, except for the sound of Lance’s sniffling on the other end, accompanied by the occasional broken mumble that Gloria couldn’t understand. 

As soon as she was seated and won her fight with her seatbelt, she turned the key in the ignition. The first try, the engine gave a testy little sputter at her as if it were indignantly refusing to start at such a late hour. “Lance, baby, I’m on my way, okay? Don’t leave that bathroom.”

“They keep pounding on the door, Gloria.” 

“I know, baby, just stay put. I’m coming.” The engine finally roared to life this time, a puff of exhaust billowing up into the rear lights in her mirror. Fuck, this car was a piece of shit. She put the phone on speaker mode. “ _ Hermanito,  _ I got you on speaker, okay? I’m gonna stay on the line with you, but I dunno how long my battery is going to last.” 

“Okay,” his voice cracked. With a breath of relief, Gloria set the phone down on the passenger seat. This car was so old it didn’t even have a proper cup holder. “I’m sorry.” 

“You don’t have anything to be sorry for, just keep talking to me,” she replied as she threw the car into reverse and turned out of their driveway. Liam’s frat house and the university were over half an hour away, but at this late hour, she could probably cut that time down to twenty-five minutes. “Lance, have you had anything to drink?” 

There was a pause that told Gloria everything she needed to know before he even answered. But the answer came, still, anyways. “Yeah…” 

“Okay, tell me what you had.” She was turning off of their road now, headed towards the major roadways that would take her to the other side of town. How the hell had he even gotten to the university? 

“Just a couple of beers,” he replied. “I’m not even drunk!” 

“Calm down, I’m not mad. That’d be real fucking hypocritical of me to be mad even if you were drunk.” 

“Yeah,” Lance agreed with a small scoff. It sounded halfway to a laugh, which was an improvement from how hard he had been crying when she’d gotten on the phone with him. “It was just a few beers. I was safe. I opened them myself, I didn’t put them down anywhere, it was fine...” 

“I know,” she answered. “Just keep talking to me. Did that fucker, Liam, hurt you?” 

“He told me I could come hang with the guys… That I could just be myself, but then later on, he wouldn’t stop putting his hands all over me! Like, I’m in my binder, obviously he knew he wasn’t going to cop a feel. But he kept trying to put his hands everywhere else. And I told him to stop over and over again and he wouldn’t listen… and then one of the other guys--one of his brothers, I think? He made some comment about how Liam wasn’t even gay, that he didn’t like boys, and he--” his voice hiccupped again. “And he--” 

“Shhh,” Gloria didn’t let him finish his sentence. “Yeah, I got what he did.” 

“So I got pissed! And we started fighting,” all of the emotion was back in his voice now, which meant there was no way Gloria was going to get the story straight out of him. “And he’s such a prick! Just fighting and--”

“Did he hurt you?” Gloria repeated, her tone dropping to show how serious she was. “Tell me the truth,  _ hermanito. _ ” 

Suddenly there were voices in the background on Lance’s end of the line. And the voices were loud, accompanied by what sounded like the very pounding on the door Lance had previously mentioned. “Shit,” Lance’s voice snapped, as if he hadn’t been crying in the first place. “Gloria, what do I fucking do?” 

Just then, Gloria’s phone gave a loud beep, the screen lighting up. It was a warning that her battery was critically low. She matched her little brother’s curse. “Okay, Lance? Whatever you do, stay there! Don’t open that door for anyone! I’m almost there!” 

“They’re saying they’re gonna break down the door,” his voice was quaking now. “Please hurry!” 

“What and explain to their fucking frat boy den mother, or whoever the fuck, that they broke shit because an underage boy who wasn’t supposed to be there was drunk and didn’t put out? They’re not gonna break down that door. And if they fucking touch you, I’m gonna break their faces, okay? Stay where you are!” Her phone gave another warning beep. “My battery is about to die,  _ hermanito _ , so just keep talking to me until it does! I’m almost there!” 

“Okay,” he sounded unsure, and was nearly drowned out by the sound of the commotion in the background. This guy was fucking crazy, hollering through a door after tricking Lance into feeling comfortable enough going over there. “Please hurry…” 

“I’m going as fast as I can.” 

“I’m sorry,” his voice was hitching again, the sudden commotion in the background clearly upsetting him all over again. He was saying more, but his voice started cutting in an out as the call was about to drop. Shit.

“Lance, you don’t have anything to be sorry for, okay? Listen to me, I’m gonna come get you and we’re gonna go home and it’s going to be fine, okay? I promise you, everything’s going to be alright! Lance? Lance!” 

She spared a glance down to where her phone sat in the passenger seat. The screen was dark now. She urgently picked it up, pressing at any buttons to see if it was still on. “Lance?!” she snapped at the phone, but it didn’t respond to her. It was thoroughly dead. “Fuck!” she yelled, chucking it into the back seat in a fit of anger. Stupid shitty flip phone. She cursed herself for accidentally falling asleep for so long, and especially for doing it without plugging her phone in to charge. Her blood was boiling now and she slammed on the gas. Maybe she could shave this drive down to twenty minutes. 

It was a valiant effort on her behalf; and according to the car’s clock, she had managed to make it there in what she estimated had to be under the twenty-five minute mark. The frat house certainly wasn’t the most well-kept she’d seen. There were no white pillars, no perfectly kept lawn. And the tall wooden greek letters out on the front porch were propped up against the wall like they had fallen off from somewhere and haphazardly pushed aside. 

Either Gloria had been fed a shit idea of what frat houses were supposed to look like, or this place was not the best frat to be in. Didn’t really matter now as she stomped her way up the rickety old staircase and pounded on the front door, her keys balled in her other fist. “Open up!” she screamed at the top of her lungs. Who cared what time it was? If she woke anyone up, so fucking be it. All the better, actually. Gloria wanted to attract attention to this bullshit. She had worked herself up enough to where she was gonna take every last one of these fuckers with her. 

The door swung open on her fourth of fifth series of fervent knocks. On the other side of it stood a very shocked looking young man who couldn’t have been older than Gloria was. “Who the hell--?!” he started to ask, but his question was cut off by the small bundle of anger pushing her way past him through the door. 

“Where the fuck is he?!” she demanded, trying to get a good look around for any sign of Lance. The insides of the house didn’t look that much better than the outside. There were mysterious water stains on the ceilings and the furniture all looked to be in some sort of state of disrepair. Gloria would have never guess that this was a frat house if she hadn’t been told. Well, except for the sheer number of empty beer cans that seemed to litter every tabletop. That was a bit of a dead giveaway. Not a frat party, my ass, she thought to herself. 

“Where the fuck is who?!” the guy tried to grab at Gloria, or otherwise try to urge her back out the door. 

“My little brother! Lance!” she snapped, yanking her arm away from the tall boy. She stared him down, as if daring him to put his hands on her again. “Brown hair? About this tall,” she made a gesture, raising her hand over her head to give a reference to height, “and he came here with a guy named Liam! One of your fucking frat brothers, I’m assuming!” 

“You mean his ex?” the guy stuttered, clearly growing more indignant with Gloria’s intrusion by the second. “The little shit locked in the bathroom, right? Liam’s gone fucking nuts over this.” 

“Where the fuck is the bathroom?! Show me!” As if Gloria gave any shits at all about Liam’s personal feelings in this nonsense. As far as she was concerned, he could rot in hell and stay as far away from her brother imaginable. 

Several voices could be heard from somewhere further into the house and before she could be stopped, Gloria set her face and stomped her way towards the sources of the noise. “Where the fuck is he?!” 

“W-who!?” she could hear the guy following her. “Liam or Lucia?!” 

She rounded on the boy now, hands making contact with his chest. Before she had a moment to think about what she was doing, she had him pinned to the nearest wall, her forearm pinned firmly against his chest. “What the fuck did you call him!?”

“L-Lucia!” his were wide with fear. “Liam said that she was his ex-girlfriend!” 

“My brother is a boy,” Gloria stated firmly. “And his name is Lance. Yeah, he’s Liam’s ex. But I don’t fucking care what Liam told you about him or what Liam told you his name was. There’s a fucking reason they broke up!” 

“Sorry!” The simpering college student raised his hands in defense and Gloria was suddenly painfully aware of the fact that this kid was probably younger than she was. And clearly had no idea what was actually going on. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know! Why the hell is he here then?” 

But Gloria was beyond the point of just brushing everything off and apologizing. She still needed to find Lance and kick the shit out of Liam. “Just tell me where the fuck my brother is.” 

“Gloria??” a softer voice called with confusion. Her attention snapped towards it, vaguely recognizing the voice. A tall boy fully clad head to toe in sweats and a backwards baseball cap had just exited from what appeared to be a kitchen just around the corner. His dark hair was cut shorter than it had been in high school, and his face had lost it’s last remnants of baby fat, but she could recognize that smile anywhere. 

“Adam?” 

“What the hell are you doing here?” he asked. But when he said it, he sounded overjoyed to see his old high school classmate. His gaze drifted from her face to where she had the younger boy pinned against the wall with only one arm and his smile fell as he pieced that together. “Oh my god, Chad! What’s going on?!” 

“You know this crazy bitch?!” Chad spat, as if he were trying to act tough, but his tone betrayed the fear he was clearly feeling. On instinct, Gloria pressed her elbow even deeper into his collarbone at the insult. She could hear him wince.

“I got a call from my brother,” she said, her head turned to face Adam. 

“Christian?”

“The kid that came with Liam!” Chad answered before Gloria could. 

“That’s your little brother?!” Adam’s eyebrows raised in confusion. “I thought Liam said that was his ex-girl--” His voice fell silent and realization dawned on his face as he put two and two together. “Oh my god, Gloria, is that Lucia?! I totally forgot Liam dated your little sister.” 

“Little brother. And his name is Lance now.”

“Right, yeah, sorry…” he shook his head, clearly trying to mask his shock. “Shit, yeah, He’s still upstairs. Come on.” 

“Show me,” she demanded, finally letting her hostage go and turning instead to follow Adam. It was only then that she noticed the small crowd of jock-looking boys that had gathered behind him, their heads all poking out of the kitchen doorway in drunken curiosity and bewilderment. 

Adam put a gentle arm on Gloria’s shoulder, guiding her past what were apparently also his brothers and led her to a thin stairway leading to an upstairs level, presumably where all of the dorms were. At that realization, her stomach sank a little. She let her old friend lead her up the stairs, her anger only increasing with every step closer she got. As they drew closer, she could hear Liam’s voice snapping back and forth with Lance’s own muffled voice, presumably arguing through the door. 

As soon as they were close enough to see Liam, his eyes locked with Gloria’s in contempt. It fueled the rage inside of her even further and she surged forward before Adam could even think to hold her back. 

She felt her fist connect with bone and tissue before seeing or processing it. A sickening crunch gave way to a burst of blood and searing pain. And she wasn’t sure if the blood was hers or Liam’s. Perhaps both? 

Liam collapsed backwards beneath the force of the blow, a hand flying up to meet where the blood was gushing from his nose. Okay, so it was Liam’s blood then. Fine by her. “You fucking asshole!” she spat, vaguely aware of Adam’s hands slipping around her to try and pull her back. But she struggled away from his grip, too furious to be stopped now. “I can’t fucking believe you! I fucking  _ knew  _ I shouldn’t have let Lance come here with you! You sick fuck!” With another swift movement, her shin slammed into his ribcage. Not as effective as a punch; she wasn’t great at kicking. But damn if she wasn’t going to try. She got her face as close to his as she could stand, shoving a finger in his face. “Don’t you ever come near him again, you understand?” her words came out in a venomous whisper. 

He looked towards Adam, as if expecting the older brother to stop this, but Adam knew better than to try and get between Gloria and whatever had pissed her off. Hell, he’d been the one who had pissed her off before and been on the receiving end of her anger. And he knew well enough to know when her anger was well deserved. “Understood,” Liam eventually gave in, not daring to meet her eyes with his own again. 

On that note, Gloria stood herself up straight again and reached for the door to the bathroom, but when she turned the knob it was still locked. “Lance?” she leaned in towards the door, trying to keep her voice even and gentle. “Lance, baby, it’s me. Open up,  _ hermanito… _ ” 

There was a shuffling noise from the other side of the door, like Lance was fumbling with the lock on the other side. As soon as Gloria heard the ‘click!’ she grabbed at the doorknob, carefully opening it. 

Lance was kneeling on the tiled floor, looking as though he’d been sitting there, having only moved to unlock it. His eyes were rimmed in red, which Gloria assumed had to be from his own tears. When his eyes met hers, his expression crumbled. She fell to her knees, arms reaching out for her little brother and pulling him in tight. “It’s okay. Shh.” Lance buried his face into her shoulder, his entire body shaking with his sobs. “It’s okay. I’m here.” 

Somewhere behind her, she could hear Liam getting up from off of the ground and she turned her head enough to spare him a poisonous glance. Without another word, the blonde haired menace retreated somewhere out of sight. Adam was in the doorway, too, acting as some sort of bodyguard despite his sunshine-y exterior. His face was turned away, clearly trying not to intrude. They sat like that for a while, with Lance curled into Gloria, the only sound being that of Lance’s choked sobs. She gently let her fingers trace along his back, trying her best to be soothing in any way. 

Eventually, and after thoroughly soaking the collar of Gloria’s jacket, he pulled away with an undignified snort. Somehow, despite everything, it was enough to send the two siblings into a soft fit of giggles. Before Lance could ask, Gloria had reached up to grab a box of kleenex that was settled on the back of the toilet. He took one, sniffling out a pitiful “Thanks.” 

As he took a second to blow his nose and wipe his eyes with another tissue, Gloria noticed that he wasn’t in the outfit that Gloria had encouraged him to wear when they’d spoken earlier. Gone was the old dance recital t-shirt, replaced, instead, by one of the many beaten shirts from the bottom of her closet. Over that he had on a baggy hoodie that Gloria recognized as one of Christians, and on top of Lance’s head was the slouchy beanie he’d used to try and hide his short hair from their parents for as long as he could. And on closer inspection, his eyes weren’t just red from his tears. No, a dark shadow hung beneath one of his usually crystal-clear blue eyes, and there was definitely a splotch of red staining his sclera. The fire of her fury, that had previously ebbed away to concern for her brother, suddenly flared to life again. 

“Did he hit you?” she said, her tone steady and unwavering. 

His only answer was another heavy, wet sniffle as he averted his gaze, choosing instead to turn his attention down to the floor. He didn’t have to say anything. She already knew. 

Gloria wanted to scream. She wanted to yell at someone. Anyone. The whole universe, if it made a difference. How could the universe let this happen to Lance,  _ her  _ Lance?!  _ Her _ baby brother, the most genuinely trusting and caring person she knew. The  _ only _ person she’d ever cared so much for and maybe ever would. How could she let this happen to him…? She wanted to yell and scream at someone. Anyone. Herself, even. But what good would it do? 

For the first time in her life, Gloria felt the fight dissipate from the empty core of her chest. No amount of yelling or fighting would make this better. Nothing could fix this for Lance. The damage was done. It was written clear as day on his face. 

She turned away from him to gaze down to where their hands ands lay, still linked together, in their laps. “I’m so sorry, Lance,” she just barely whispered. “I’m sorry this happened to you. I’m so sorry I couldn’t protect you from this.” 

There was a long pause that hung between them before he finally answered. “Can we just go…?” his voice cracked with defeat. 

He didn’t have to ask twice. Slowly, deliberately, Gloria stood and made motions to help her brother off of the floor. Despite the fact that he was a head taller than she was, he looked so small as he crossed his arms in front of himself, pulling the sweatshirt closed in front of him. Gloria slid an arm behind his back, leading him out of the bathroom and towards the stairs. Adam followed behind them, still a quiet bodyguard, a symbol to the rest of the fraternity that the situation was dealt with and not to stare. 

They made their way back through the house and towards the car. The walk felt like it took hours, although it was barely more than a minute or two. Time seemed almost frozen without the fervent panic that had filled Gloria when she’d entered this house. Her arm was the only thing guiding Lance in the direction they needed to go as he pulled the hood over his head, watching down at his feet. It was easier than meeting the faces of the people who watched as they passed by. 

When they reached the front door of the house, Adam reached ahead of them to get the door for them. “Thank you for helping me,” Gloria smiled up at him. She wanted so badly to reach out to him; to touch him or hold him. “For getting me to my brother and, like, standing guard and stuff, I guess.” 

He nodded, shoving his hands deep inside of the pockets of his sweatpants. “I’m so sorry about all this, Gloria,” he finally spoke. As if  _ she _ was the one who needed an apology for what had happened that night. “Liam is…”

“Don’t make excuses for him,” she sighed. Same Adam as ever; always loyal and optimistic to the point of foolishness. “I’m not like you. I can’t just ignore the bad things people have done.” 

His mouth clicked shut and he nodded with a small sigh. “I suppose that’s how it’s always been with us,” he replied with a smile that barely reached his eyes. “I only know how to see the best in people and you--”

“I only know how to see the worst,” she stated before he could finish his sentence. She could feel a small, bittersweet smile spreading across her face before she could help it.

Adam chuckled, and shook his head. “No, I wasn’t going to say that.” He reached behind his head to scratch at an itch somewhere underneath the backwards baseball cap that sat on top of his head. “You’re so much more real than I know how to be, Gloria McClain.” 

She took pause at that. It felt like he was making some sort of admission, or apology for what had happened between them. A weird sense of closure settled over them with his words. It felt like goodbye, which was something Gloria was never good at. 

“Can we go?” Lance spoke from where he was waiting halfway out the door. 

Startled out of her thoughts, Gloria peeled her eyes and turned to look at him, nodding. With one hand, she made a motion for her little brother to go ahead. “Yeah,  _ hermanito…  _ Let’s get out of here.” 

Just before she could step off of the porch, she heard Adam call out to her again. At the sound of her name in on his tongue, she felt her heart leap. She turned to face him again, feeling as if she owed him that much. “Yeah?” 

Softly, Adam flashed her one of his sweetest, most radiant smiles. “I know it wasn’t at all the best circumstances, but it was good seeing you tonight.” His expression shifted into something more serious, almost sad. “But… Please… Don’t come back here again, okay?” 

Gloria blinked as his words settled in. For a moment, she wasn’t sure if she felt angry, indignant, or maybe just sad. Perhaps it was a mix of all three things. All of the sudden, Adam felt farther away than ever, despite everything. All of the words they’d just shared, helping her… it all led to nothing. Maybe it was too much to ask for hope that things could ever change between them. 

This was definitely a goodbye. 

She could hear the sounds of the old car’s door opening and slamming shut behind her as Lance climbed into the passenger seat. It was time to go. “I wish it could have been different,” Gloria stated simply. Adam gave her one last, sad smile, before he turned back into the beaten down facade of a house. And then she was left standing there. She wondered briefly if maybe she should feel sad or alone in that moment, but she didn’t. No, in fact, she felt secure. She had Lance, and that was what mattered. Her family was what mattered. 

As she climbed into the car, she saw Lance had taken the hood down off of his head. Here, he didn’t seem as small as he had inside of that place. It was almost as if the light inside of Lance, the one that Gloria knew and loved so much, had barely even noticed everything that had happened that night. “Ready to go home?” she asked with a soft smile. 

Lance’s eyes were facing forwards, out the windshield. At first he didn’t answer, as if maybe for a moment he just wasn’t going to talk. But as Gloria started the car up with another deafening roar of the engine, he finally spoke up. “Not home,” he said. “Anywhere but home. Please.” 

She stared at him for a moment, not sure where exactly she should take him at this time of night. By the car’s clock, it was nearly 2:30 in the morning now. “Okay…” she breathed, peeling her gaze from him so she, too, was staring ahead out the windshield. “Where do you wanna go?” 

Lance shrugged his shoulders, turning his eyes down to the floor of the car. He was silent for a while, and Gloria didn’t know if she wanted to ask again, if maybe he was just thinking and that if she pushed it too hard, he’d just clam up and change his mind. 

“I wish I could just go back,” he whispered. 

“Back where?” she turned to look at him again. 

“Back to before, I guess,” he answered. “Before tonight, before the haircut, before you and Hunk convinced me I could do this…” 

“Okay, hold on,” Gloria sighed. “You know that’s not what I asked, so stop being dramatic.” He finally turned his face up to her, looking thoroughly displeased at being called out by his older sister. “I asked  _ where, _ not when. Now gimme a straight answer.” 

He glared back towards the front, letting his head fall so that he was leaning against the passenger side window. “I don’t know,” he finally admitted. “I guess…” He started chewing on his lower lip for a minute, as if he were trying to think of how to word it. “You remember when we were little kids and we lived over by the lake?”

“Yeah?” 

“Every payday, they’d bring you, me, and Christian down to that little gas station, mini-mart place. Sometimes we’d stargaze on that hill, if the weather was okay... And they’d--”

“They’d get us all ice cream,” Gloria said softly. Before he could answer, she turned herself forward again, putting the car into drive. “You got it,  _ hermanito. _ ” 

His teeth clicked together a little as his jaw snapped shut and he fell quiet. They drove in silence like that, Gloria deciding it was probably best to let him have the time to himself. Somehow she still knew the way to their old neighborhood like the back of her hand, even though they hadn’t lived there since shortly before the twins were born. It was kind of far away, certainly not convenient, but she was ready to do anything right about now to make Lance feel better. 

The quiet air between them was stagnating. Normally when they were on drives anywhere together, they’d have the music cranked up high and when they weren’t singing along, they’d be chattering, sometimes even bickering, back and forth. Occasionally, she’d glance over to check if Lance had dozed off. It was late, after all. But he was awake; just uncharacteristically quiet, which she didn’t blame him for. 

By the time she finally pulled into their destination, it was nearly three in the morning. They only had two more hours to get back home before their dad got up for work. At which time he’d inevitably go upstairs to check on the kids, only to find two of them missing. Which would have been fine for Gloria, she was old enough to go out at whatever time she liked. But Lance had snuck out to a party he wasn’t supposed to be at. When he was supposed to be grounded. And Gloria had helped him with that. 

Either way, both of them would be in deep shit. 

As soon as they got out of the car and walked into the mini-mart, Lance’s usual mask of chatty excitement was firmly back in place. Like a switch had been flipped. “Do you think they still have that gross as hell ‘superhero’ flavor? The one that was, like, bright superman colors and tasted like play-doh?” he asked as he pulled the door open and held it for his sister.

“I remember you ordered it every time,” Gloria replied coolly. As they walked in, a familiar bell chimed above their head. 

“I got it every time because it was blue and then never finished it,” Lance laughed at memory. “It tasted so gross!”

“Yeah, and then you’d always try and steal some of mine!” They peered through the glass down at the tubs of ice cream, happily reminiscing about all the flavors they could remember trying as children and sharing what they thought about the flavors they didn’t recognize. In the end, Gloria ended up choosing a flavor called “mudslide” (which she fondly remembered as being her favorite) and Lance got salted caramel. “You sure you don’t want to get the superhero one? For old times sake?” Gloria snickered and nudged him in the ribs with her elbow. 

Lance made a face at the joke, reaching up to grab both of their cones while she paid for them at the register. “Haven’t I had a hard enough night without having to endure that ice cream?” Lance replied with a snicker. 

Gloria shot him a look indicating that she didn’t think the joke was very funny. “Yeah, don’t think you’re getting out of talking about it just because I’m buying you stuff.” 

His jaw dropped with a dramatic gasp. “Deception!” 

The tired-looking cashier, who was clearly not thrilled about the two siblings ordering ice cream cones at three in the morning, handed Gloria her change just as she rolled her eyes. With her wallet safely secured back into her jacket’s pocket, she plucked her cone from her brother’s hands and turned to head towards the door. 

“Where are you going?” Lance asked as he followed behind her. “Then benches are right here.” 

She raised one eyebrow at him, adjusting her cone to accommodate for the handful of napkins she’d apparently also grabbed on her way out the door. “Well did you want to stargaze on the hill or not?” 

The hill apparently had been cut into to extend the parking lot some time after they’d moved. They discovered this after nearly falling down the hill and dropping their beloved ice cream cones several times each. It was too steep to safely climb now. Not with only one hand each. So instead, Gloria pulled the car into one of the parking spots by the hill and they opted to lay on its hood instead. It was relatively close enough that it still made them feel the nostalgia. 

They lay on top of the car until their ice cream was gone, with Lance pointing out the constellations he could still remember, and Gloria totally making up her own because she couldn’t have been damned enough to learn any of them when she was little. And then when they had finished with their ice cream, they sat up, the chatter over the stars and night sky turned into jokes and memories of everything else they could remember growing up. 

“I can’t believe you don’t remember that!” Lance laughed, clutching his own sides. “I was, like, four, and I remember it! That’s why mama and papa finally let you quit dance! You literally picked up the chair and  _ threw it _ at Miss Julie! They had to get the mirror replaced and everything!” 

“I thought they let me quit because I embarrassed them!” Gloria had a hand held up to cover the shocked O-shape that her mouth was making. “‘Cause I threw an actual kicking-and-screaming tantrum before every dance lesson, ‘cause I didn’t wanna be there!” 

“No,” he continued to laugh. “No, it’s because you embarrassed them by destroying the studio! I had to beg them to let  _ me  _ go back!” 

Gloria smiled fondly at her little brother as his laughter subsided and his wiped at the tears in his eyes. “And then you never left,” she said. Lance matched her smile and nodded. He really loved his dance, and he was so talented. He’d been good enough to manage a scholarship to the dance program at some nearby university Gloria didn’t know the name of. She was so proud of him.

But she saw her window of opportunity into the conversation she knew that Lance didn’t want to have. “Hey, speaking of your dance,” Gloria started, picking nervously at the frayed hem of her jeans. “I saw you weren’t wearing the recital shirt I gave you earlier today.” Lance hesitated before shrugging his shoulders and looking away. Clearly, she was going to need to do a little more prying to get him to talk. “Why weren’t you wearing the recital shirt, Lance? Or any of the clothes I gave you?” 

He had his head hung a little, not looking Gloria in the eye. “I just didn’t--” 

“You just didn’t what?” she interrupted. “You didn’t think that it was something a boy could wear? You weren’t embarrassed to wear that shirt before.” 

He clenched his jaw shut tightly. “I wasn’t embarrassed--”

“Clearly you were. Enough to change into clothes that didn’t belong to your older sister. No, instead you went and got your brother’s clothes. Even though we  _ both  _ know they don’t fit.” 

“I didn’t--”

“If you were anyone else, I’d kick your ass just for insulting me like that, Lance!” 

“I’m not embarrassed about the clothes!” he snapped, finally looking up fully at her with wide, desperate eyes. 

They both knew exactly what he meant, but Gloria really didn’t feel like playing games or dancing around saying it. He could be such a fucking drama king like that. But after what Lance had gone through that night, what he’d put Gloria through, too, they both deserved better. “Then what is it?” she asked outright. “What were you so embarrassed of? What were you expecting to get out of that place tonight?!” 

Lance stared at Gloria, his mouth opening and closing a few times, as if he were struggling to find an answer. But she wasn’t going to let it go, so she let him simmer in the silence, to come up with an answer himself. “I-I… I dunno, I guess I just thought…” his eyes drifted to the side, unwilling to look her in the eye as he said the words. “I guess I just thought that if I could go there and fit in, then that would… Then maybe that’d prove I was one of the guys.” 

“‘The Guys?’” Gloria repeated back to him with a guffaw. “Lance, do you realize how dumb that sounds? You’re already a guy! Who are you trying to prove that to?” 

He made the same befuddled face as before, working his jaw for an answer he didn’t think he had. “I didn’t even know what I wanted my name to be until you and Hunk started coming up with names!” 

“No, stop that!” Gloria stuck a finger in the air, instantly reminding herself of her mom and regretting it. “You don’t get to sit here and act like Hunk and I somehow made this happen because we’ve been supportive of you. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve had your name. The point is that it’s you.” He let out a breath of air that sounded vaguely like a sigh. Whether it was in defeat or acceptance, she wasn’t sure. Maybe it was a little bit of both. She took it as her signal that she should continue. “Who are you trying to prove something to, Lance?” she questioned again. 

He didn’t say anything. He just looked up at her with his stupid, big sad eyes with his head hung down. Fine, then, if he didn’t want to answer that, then she had other questions she could ask him. “What happened tonight, Lance? Did you ever even mention that you might be trans to Liam before tonight?” 

“No…”

“Then why tonight?” 

“I wanted him to accept me.” 

“Why? You two have been broken up for months! Why go running back to your ex?” when he continued to stubbornly not answer, she let out a heavy sigh she’d been holding in. Now it was time for Gloria to avert her gaze. “I know tonight’s not the first time he’s hit you, Lance.” 

His head snapped up quick as a whip. Yep, that definitely got his attention. “How--?” 

“It doesn’t matter how.” 

The silence between the two was heavy as they finally face each other full-on. The only noise was a small gulping sound Lance eventually made as he tried to swallow the lump that had formed in his throat. It took a minute or so of them sitting like that for the truth of it to settle around them. The worst of it was on the table, now. 

Gloria sighed again. “I don’t care how scared of yourself you are, Lance,” she said, choosing her words carefully, “But don’t ever turn to someone like him to try and prove your self-worth. It’ll just leave you feeling lower that you did before. People like that don’t deserve any part of you.” 

After a moment or two, their eye contact never once broken, Lance nodded. “Okay,” he answered. “I’m sorry…” 

“Don’t apologize,” Gloria said. “You made a choice. It’s time to learn from your choice. And with those lessons you learn are who you are, Lance. Don’t ever apologize for who you are.” 

He nodded again. Another moment passed before he spoke. “I don’t know how to be a boy, Gloria,” he sighed. “All of my life has been dance lessons and shit. I have the biggest makeup collection in the whole family!” 

“Oh, so what?” asked with a wave of her hand. “Who said you can’t be a boy and still like all of those things? Lance, if you suddenly stopped liking those things, then you wouldn’t be you just as much as you weren’t you before you came out.” 

“What boy wears makeup?” he asked. 

“A lot of boys who dance and perform wear makeup, dude,” Gloria scoffed. “Every actor and model in your stupid magazines wears makeup. God, boys are allowed to be pretty! You love being pretty and dancing and why should any of that change because you’ve learned new stuff about yourself and your gender?!” 

He stared at her with wide eyes, scratching vaguely at the back of his head, like he was too stunned to believe a word that she said. “God, look at you!” she pointed at the top of his head. “Wearing that same raggedy old beanie you used to hide your hair from mom and dad! Who are you hiding from?” When no reply came, she just kept on going. There really was no stopping her now. “You want everyone in the world to accept you, and you can’t even accept yourself!” 

“Okay, you’re right!” Lance snapped, his voice cracking a little. There were tears in his eyes for at least the second time that night. “Is that what you want to hear?! I don’t know how to be both people!”

She stared at him, truly stunned by his words for the first time that night. “Lance, you already are… You are a boy. And you are a person who loves dancing and being pretty. You’re Lance, you are both! Just be you!” 

“I don’t know how,” he said. 

“Stop hiding,” she replied. “Just stop. You were hiding that you were a boy. Okay. But that doesn’t mean you have to hide some other part of you now.” 

He was fidgeting, now, with the hem of the loose band shirt he was wearing. She gave him a small smile; it was clear that he felt as uncomfortable in these clothes as he looked. And he was starting to let that show. “Just myself?” he repeated, returning her smile. 

“I promise you,” she said. She reached a hand up to his face, rubbing at his cheekbone with the pad of her thumb. “Just yourself. You owe it to yourself,  _ hermanito _ . And I promise you’re worth it.” 

He smiled a little wider again, nodding. After a beat, a familiar mischievous glint suddenly popped back into his eyes. “Well I mean, of course I am. Look at me.” He flashed her a brilliant smile, quirking one eyebrow up. 

Gloria groaned loudly, rolling her eyes so hard that she let it turn her whole body away from him. She swung her legs over the side of the car. “Fuck, nevermind! Go back to being all mopey and full of self-doubt!” she laughed, stretching. Her legs and back felt stiff from sitting in one place for so long. “What time is it? My phone’s dead and I gotta get your ass back home before dad finds out you’re gone.” 

Lance sighed and pulled his phone out of his pocket, pressing at a button on the side to check the time. “Shit, it’s four in the morning,” he replied, suddenly leaping off of the hood of the car himself. “How long does it take to get back home from here?!” 

“Like forty minutes, I think?” Gloria scrunched her face up as she tried to think about her route to get home and about how long that would take her. “Don’t worry,  _ hermanito _ , you’ll get home. I won’t let anything bad happen to you.” 

They slid into their respective seats in the car, Lance still a little quickly out of nervousness. The engine clicked a couple of times before starting up this time. Shitty old car. But at least Lance was definitely more lively now, quickly reaching to turn the radio on as soon as he could. “Oh fuck no!” Gloria laughed as she pulled out of her parking spot and headed on their way. “I’m not listening to your shitty dance music the whole way home at four in the damn morning! It’s too late for that shit.” 

She fumbled with the dial on the radio, searching for any station that was playing something even remotely like rock music. After a few minutes of arguing back and forth for a couple miles, they finally settled on a station that was playing a familiar song Gloria had blasted on repeat for  _ hours _ when she was in high school. Okay, maybe Lance wasn’t the only McClain sibling with a flair for the dramatic. 

Apparently she’d listened to the song so often that even Lance knew all the lyrics to it, as they both sang along quite loudly. Well, at least she’d wisely imparted good music sense onto her brother over the years, if nothing else. Surprisingly, he knew the song after that as well, which he explained away with a simple explanation of “Hunk,” but Gloria doubted whether or not that was true. She suspected, hoped even, that maybe somewhere deep inside, Lance thought her music was cool. 

The two of them singing in the car brought a smile to her face. It reminded her of all the times they’d spent in this very car growing up, just trying to get each other through whatever awful, earth-shattering thing was happening that week. Earth shattering, like the first time Gloria brought Lance home after getting him high, or like that one time Amber at dance practice had told Lance that his form was all wrong. Yeah. All earth shattering. 

She reached over and grabbed his hand in hers as another song came to a strummed end. “You know I love you, right?” she glanced over at him, taking advantage of the commercial break on the radio. He gave her a bewildered look, like she’d just said some word that had let the genie out of the bottle, but she didn’t give him time to stop. “And mom and dad are always gonna love you too, no matter what, right? You know that? And anyone who doesn’t love you no matter what… then fuck ‘em, right?” 

He blinked, still looking shocked. “I know,” he answered, squeezing her hand back. “I love you, too…” 

She sighed and nodded, releasing his hand. “Okay, good,” she replied and flipped the volume on the radio back up again to hide her sniffling. Then she tacked on with a wry grin, “Don’t get soft on me now, McClain.” 

They drove on like that for a little while, singing loud because they knew the whole world was too asleep to care anymore. By the time Gloria checked the clock again, they were nearly home. It was 4:22, which was just perfect. They’d get home and have Lance in bed long before their dad even woke up. The drive hadn’t even taken as long as Gloria had predicted. 

It was right then that time seemed to slow down as a bright light suddenly flashed through Gloria’s windshield, nearly blinding her. She heard herself curse loudly as the realization hit that those were headlights--headed right into their lane. She felt herself react before she thought about it, yanking the steering wheel one way to try and avoid the oncoming vehicle. 

And then she heard the crunch before she even felt it. The car jerked around without any control. Gloria couldn’t even tell which way was which anymore, only that she could see a guard rail in front of her. 

Then came the second loud crunch. Distantly, she could hear herself and Lance both yelling as the next thing they saw was the ground. She didn’t even have time to question how she was seeing the ground out her front windshield before it was gone again. 

She felt pressure weighing down on her middle when the last crunch came. The world was a blur of crashing metal and glass as she felt what seemed like the whole world come crashing down on top of her.

* * *

The first thing Lance became aware of was his toes. He felt the telltale pops in his joints--dancer’s joints, yeah that’s right… he was a dancer… That meant his toes were flexing. Okay, what else could he flex? Fingers. Okay, wiggling fingers. That was good. Wrists? Another pop, but relatively normal. Legs? One… two… okay, yes, he still had working legs. Thank god… how was he supposed to dance with only feet and no legs? 

The next thing Lance became aware of was sound. Or, really, the lack of familiar sound. He heard… nothing… no music, no bickering siblings, no telltale signs that he was home in his bed. Where the hell was he? He heard something distant, like, maybe crickets chirping somewhere far off. But they weren’t chirping here. Where _was_ here? Wait, were those sirens?

The next thing to come to Lance was a weird pressure on his neck and head. What the hell kind of a weird position had he fallen asleep in? Asleep? Wait, when had he fallen asleep? He tried to adjust the position of his head, when he felt the even weirder thing. Something was in his hair. What the fuck? That sounded like glass. Was there glass in his hair? His head felt heavy as he tried to move it around. 

In fact, his limbs felt weirdly heavy, too, but it wasn’t in a way where he couldn’t lift them. No, instead it felt more like his limbs were being lifted into the air by some sort of unseen force. Like when he would hang upside down off the monkey bars at the playground and mama would yell at him to get down before he hurt himself. Wait a minute… Was Lance upside down?!

He jerked violently, his eyes snapping open as he suddenly came to. Holy fucking shit, he was upside down! He looked around, disoriented, trying to make any sense of the world he saw before him, flipped entirely onto its head. 

Out in front of him he could see the night sky and the ground, looking over a sparkling city just barely about to wake up for its day. Except the ground, the grass, the city? It was all above Lance! Wait a minute, those weren’t glittering lights. Lance didn’t live in a big city. What was that sparkling…? Glass… it was glass. The windshield was gone. That was the windshield sparkling in front of him, in pieces. 

He felt his breath hitch as he tried to look around him some more. Up was down and he was still trying to make sense of everything. There was a large white sheet in front of him, like an empty old pillowcase. An airbag, deployed and deflated now. 

His breath didn’t just hitch, he could feel it quickening now as the reality of the situation sunk in. Lance, get down. Get out. Get down before you hurt yourself. He couldn’t get down, mama. He couldn’t get out. Something was holding him in place, holding him stuck in place upside down on the monkey bars. He scrambled to gain purchase on the thick restraint he felt over his chest. He needed to get out of here. The car. He had been in the car. It crashed. They had crashed the car, they--

The world stopped as Lance made sense of the last thing he could see. 

He slowly turned his head to look. They had crashed the car. Lance wasn’t allowed to drive, he didn’t have his license, and he’d only been learning all those times with Christian and his dad! But he’d needed a ride. He needed to get out. She got him out. 

She had been driving. 

The world stopped as Lance made sense of the blood. 

“Lance…” a voice croaked out. 

It was Gloria’s voice. Her voice. The voice that had kept him safe his whole life. The voice of his hero. The voice that got him out. 

She was the only thing that was all down-is-up like Lance was. She was hanging upside down, too. She was on the monkey bars with him. Keeping him safe. He could hear his own voice saying her name, clear as crystal. What was wrong with his voice? Why didn’t it sound like hers? 

The blood was streaking her face, her hair matted down against her forehead by it. The roof of the car bore down on her like a vice. Did Lance look like that? Did they both fall? Did they both get hurt? 

He could only hear himself saying her name again. Could only think straight enough to process that one word. Gloria. Gloria. Gloria. Her arm dangled limp from her body, the only thing untouched by the blood. The only thing miraculously unharmed. He finally let go from the restraint on his chest, reaching to grab for her hand again. Like he had before. Gloria. Gloria. 

Her fingers twitched a couple times, as if she were testing how the movement felt. She must have decided it felt fine because suddenly her hand surged forward to grab his. “I’m sorry,” her voice cracked out again. 

He felt her fingers wrap around his palm, warm and safe. She was keeping him safe. And all he could do was hang there from the monkey bars like an idiot. He felt his eyes burning, followed by the telltale moisture of tears starting to fall back into his hairline. Gloria. Gloria. 

He needed to find another word. Any word. He needed to say something besides her name. He tried to wrack his brain for any words that could mean something. Anything. “Don’t apologize,” his voice cracked. “Don’t ever apologize…” 

Gloria’s breath hitched, shallow and awful-sounding. There was something  _ wrong _ about her breathing. She shouldn’t be sounding like that. Her fingers twitched in his hands again and she pulled from him, reaching her hand up towards his face. The pad of her thumb ran across his cheek for the second time that night. 

“ _ Hermanito… _ ” 

His cheek felt cold as the warmth of her thumb disappeared as quickly as it came. Her arm fell limp once more, her breath rattling as she gave one last pitiful attempt at a cough. 

And then Gloria’s bright blue eyes went still. 

Lance felt himself scramble to get any sort of solid grip on the restraint holding him back. The sounds in his ears were deafening; a blur of roaring white noise and sirens growing louder. 

Light were flickering across the grass now. Red, white, blue. Red, white, blue. It only served to light the inside of the wrecked car even further. Lance yelled out for his sister again, feeling his fingers finally close around the buckle of the seat belt. He heard the click. 

The world suddenly righted itself around Lance. Up was up and down was down. But Gloria was still staring unblinkingly into the night. He heard himself yell again. He had to keep her safe. He had to get her off the monkey bars. Before she hurt herself.

But all the voices he could hear now weren’t hers. The voices calling out to him were unfamiliar. They told him not to move, but he didn’t know how to listen. He _never_ knew how to listen. Eventually the voices started holding him down, pulling him away from the car. Away from her. 

Away from Gloria. 

They pulled him from the car and onto a stiff, uncomfortable board, despite how he tried to fight it. They put more restraints onto him; more than the car had had. He couldn’t move anymore, not even his head, which was being held strapped down, as well. Like he was one big long broken finger and this board was the splint. All he could see from where he was, was the night sky. The dark, black, empty night sky. No stars, no constellations

No Gloria. 

The black of the night sky was settling in on him now. He heard the voice calmly trying to talk to him as they strapped some sort of plastic cup to his face. They were asking him questions. His birth name, his date of birth, his address, the basics. He answered them all as best as he could, but he could feel himself slipping away again to the sleep he’d felt moments ago. 

Back when there were stars and constellations. 

And Gloria. 

And the last thing Lance was aware of was the hand he’d held hers in. 

**Author's Note:**

> This story was super personal for me and that why it took me to years to finally post it. But I just really want this uploaded somewhere that people can read it. I hope you enjoyed it, and hopefully I'll finish my other VLD AU fic soon. <3


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